Almost 2 weeks prior to Ondoy, I was explaining to my French hosts something Eric Gamalinda wrote in his book regarding the Philippines, floods and memory. He said that we were a country that had no memory of ourselves and that we remember only the last deluge or the last upheaval.

I mentioned it to them because they were telling me stories about their ancestors as far back as the last couple of centuries. I for one can barely look past my great grandparents.

Little did I know that after talking about floods, Manila would virtually sink under water a couple of days later.

I just finished my illustration for INK. I had no time to go full manual so I opted to go digital for this one. INK will be having its annual exhibit in November and it’ll be a tribute to the late storyteller Rene Villanueva.

Below is a jpeg of the story as well as the part I decided to illustrate.

We’re finally here.

Working on the net for several months and weeks is nothing compared to meeting up and throwing around ideas face to face. We started working today at the Maison des Auteurs at Angouleme and quickly started brainstorming and improving on previously developed ideas. Our directions have been clarified so now it’s work, work, work!

I finally got my visa to France. I never thought I’d get to go to Paris at this point in my life, especially since I barely have enough money. But things have an odd way of working out and just in time for my birthday this week!

Visa preparations and applications are always troublesome affairs, especially when applying for trips to Western/First World Countries. Embassy people always seem to view applicants with suspicion and you really get to feel how much of a Third World citizen you are. Some applicants want to put their best foot forward and practically kowtow to embassy people. Often, the grouchiest embassy people are fellow Filipinos. I hate that we have to go through this.

When I applied for a visa almost 2 weeks ago, the embassy guy (a fellow Filipino) asked me stupid questions like where in the map was Angouleme (the place where I was heading to). I didn’t realize this was a geography exam. Going back to my seat after being interviewed, I wish I said that to his face.

But when I came back to get my visa results 2 days ago, the same guy remembered me and the fact that I was going to France to make comics. He mistakenly understood though that it was a contest when in fact it was in fulfillment of a grant (I got the grant though through a form of a contest). He asked if I was the only representative from the Philippines and I replied yes. He wasn’t smiling when he said “granted”, but somehow I could tell that their was a tinge of pride at seeing his countryman represent the country. I’d like to think that if he could, he’d probably say “good luck”. Well, I guess he wasn’t too bad after all.

I’m currently doing research and stories on Philippine games. Here’s an interpretation on one of the childhood favorites:

It starts with chant by a ring of children gathered on a lawn or backyard. A designated child begins the rhyme:

Langit, lupa, impyerno
Im-im-impyerno
Saksak puso
tulo ang dugo
Patay, buhay
Maalis ka na diyaan.

Loose English Translation:
Heaven, Earth, Hell
Hell-Hell-Hell-Hell-Hell
Stab the heart
Out comes blood
Dead, Alive
And out you go.

With each syllable, the designate points to a player in the group until finally the rhyme finishes and with the last syllable, the “taya” or the “it” is chosen.

A mad scramble ensues as the remaining players search for elevated ground which is “Langit” or Heaven. Here the It cannot go and the player cannot be touched. The unfortunate player who is caught and tagged standing on “Lupa” or the the level earth becomes the new “It”. Then the running and tagging begins again.

The game ends when the sweat soaked children have had enough or their mothers call them in for supper.

Acrylic on board and paper

Someone asked me if I’d make more money if I went freelance. To be honest I don’t know, but I couldn’t tell the guy that wasn’t the point. These past few weeks of freedom, although not as productive as I would like them to be, have given me at least a reason to paint again.

Right now, it’s more about the quantity than the quality. I have to force myself to keep on making stuff even if it isn’t particularly good. But then that leads me to wonder why I’m doing all this in the first place. It’s not as if I’m that good at it. And it’s not as if I have anything truly extraordinary to say. But I cannot, for the life of me, let it go.

Acrylic on board

At this stage in my life when my Ateneo Management friends are heading companies and climbing the corporate ladder and literally everyone I grew up with is either getting hitched and/or making babies, I’m still trying to find out what it is that I have to do. “Have to” or “ought to” of course suggests that God ultimately has a plan for us all, whether we know it or not. Right now, it’s all very vague and fuzzy to me but I’m having fun trying to find out. Well, maybe that’s the point. Maybe I just have to get lost and wander wherever I need to go.

May silbi pa rin ang letter transfer

I’d like to say I have a plan. But nothing in my life really turned out the way I thought it would and to be honest I was better for it. I was studying accounting and finance a decade ago, now I’m trying to manipulate paint. Life takes us to weird places.

I’ve been trying to carve out blocks to time to paint and do personal artworks and of course it’s been difficult. I’ve been working in advertising as a creative for 3 years now and working in photoshop has spoiled me silly. Making changes on the computer is always instantaneous and UNDOs mean that no move is ever set in stone until you decide it is. Working purely in acrylic is difficult because with the technique I’m using, I have to wait for some layers  to dry before I can apply subsequent layers. The wait breaks my momentum, even with a handy hair dryer to quicken the process. Granted it’s quicker than oil, it’s not as quick as changing a blending mode. So I’ve resorted to doing several at the same time. It’s been a real learning process and somedays I wonder if I’ll be good enough to do anything worthwhile.

Now, I’m figuring out how to close out a work. Each piece seems to take forever and I never really know when I’ll finish. Well, as they say with paintings and artworks, they’re never truly finished, just abandoned.

Umaasa ang mga tao na magiging mitsa ang pagpanaw ni Cory sa tunay na pagbabago.

Mahilig tayong umasa sa mga one-time, big time events gaya ng EDSA 1 & 2. Pero ‘pag hindi natupad ang pagbabago na hinahangad natin, nawawalan na tayo ng gana. Para tayong mga batang umaasa sa mga regalo ni Santa Claus at natuklasang hindi pala siya darating.

Pero nakakalimutan natin na mangyayari lang ang pagbabago kung lahat tayo maglalaan nang panayan at consistent na lakas sa mahabang panahon. Mahilig tayo sa drama pero nakakamit mo lang ang mga mithiin mo kapag walang drama. Trabaho lang, sige lang at tiyaga lang at walang pagsuko.

Siguro ang pagbabagong hinahanap natin ay dapat walang puknat na tinutuklas araw-araw, hindi sa isang mesiyas o mahiwagang tagapagligtas kundi sa sarili natin.